The Descent

4 out of 10

Like any other genre, horror should be judged on its own standards. It's far more important to have dread, gore, and consistent scares than believable plot twists and meaty characters. Characters too thin for most films can be more effective for viewers projecting themselves into a frightening situation and the same things that make a character compelling in a drama can bog down a blood-curdler. Case in point, The Descent, where an overabundance of characters and back-story ruins what might have been a good (but not great) creepy cave film.

The plot should be simple: six women go spelunking and get lost/trapped. As they wander through the darkness they realize there's something in the cave. That Something kills most or all of the women. It's all there, but it doesn't start for a half-an-hour after the Fandango bag-puppets stop singing. During that time we meet three beautiful white-water rafters, catch subtext of an affair between one woman and her friend's husband, and watch said husband and the couple's small child die in freak auto accident. Then the title comes up. Another twenty or so minutes are eaten up with introducing three more characters, although I quickly began confusing them.

When we finally do get to the cave, the characters immediately make a number of idiotic decisions that will obviously lead to disaster. At least we're finally getting somewhere, because it's dark and at least slightly spooky. There's not much time left for any real depiction of caving or climbing. Besides, the women are too made-up and skinny to provide any notable athleticism anyway. The best stuff is in here, with some very nice cinematography where headlamps and glow sticks are supposed to be the only light sources. This isn't a real cave, but they crafted good sets that maintain the illusion nicely, giving the film a disturbing claustrophobia.

They keep the monsters hidden until late in the film, a wise move since, frankly, the monsters are pretty lame. The film's largely run its course already, so I'm willing to spoil it, with fair warning:

The monster is Gollum. Pale, gray, nearly blind from living underground, he's even got pointy ears. In fact, the monster is a whole bunch of Gollums, a regular Gollum family with Gollum-kids and Mrs. Gollum and their swimming hole full of blood. Sure, the Gollums of The Descent have a scary scream and a nasty bite, but they lose their menace pretty quickly.

I'm not sure why they brought ice-axes to an Appalachian cave, but they sure come in handy as the women are empowered to bash the monsters heads in, exactly the sort of "twist" that will spawn a thousand freshman Feminist Film Criticism papers. They also violently resolve the plot that's been stewing since the film began, which might be interesting if I hadn't found boring since the start.

That plotline, with the widow and her best friend's affair with the dead husband and their other friend who knew everything, would have made a fine film. With a great director and it could have been an emotional meditation on love, death, and friendship. In The Descent, it falls flat and becomes an annoying distraction to a creepy cave movie.

Directed and written by Neil Marshall; Starring Shauna Macdonald, Natalie Jackson Mendoza, Alex Reid; MPAA #41746

Viewed on 04Aug2006 at Century Eastport

posted by Jesse Zander Corum @ 3:18 PM